deadened cry....

I feel like I could crack open, like an egg, or something- like a ergh!
Damn! I have never been so restless anytime before

And today, my restless meter is out of range. Don't look at me like that. Honestly, I don't have any genuine reason for this.

To make it more comprehensive, it is one of those days when you just feel like you want to BREAK LOOSE!

How many days have I lost? How can I get back to the place where I started? I'm outside a house, trying to find my way in. But it is locked and the blinds are down, and I've lost the key, and I can't remember what the rooms look like or where I put anything. And if I dare go in inside, I wonder...will I ever be able to find my way out?

And when I'm trying to study...
Sometimes in my head I think I should and when I want to get done with it, then... a second voice speaks up and proves me crazy. I wonder if I go crazy. Rather, I'm already. A wise man said- a very good sign that you're crazy is an inability to ask the question, "Am I crazy?" If the answer is YES, it means that you are not. But this craze-headed one is crazy and she even questions.

I have been trying harder to get a nice sleep since more than a week now, but seemed to be far away commodity for my trunk. Yesterday, all the night long I was up, trying to... It was like... connecting the dots. I have been trying to connect the dots of the steps ahead....Some nights I could connect three or four of them, and some nights they'd be really far apart. I'd have no idea how to get to the next one, if there was the next one. It just seems really stitched together and lumpy.