I hate myself

If I could become two persons right now, so that Pissed Off Naaz beat up Procrastinator Idiot Stupid Lazy Naaz, then believe me I would.

I would love to sit me down and give me a piece of my [other] mind, while of course dispersing the talking-to with quite a bit of obscenities. And the thing is, I'd deserve it. I'd deserve MORE.

For almost TWO MONTHS now, I've known about a PhD entrance test cum scholarship that I would like to apply for, and all this time, I didn't check up the dates. Its more than a week that I'm still feeling bad about it.

Man I am the loser of the century.

AND LOOK. I'm writing a damn BLOG POST!!!

Will I ever learn?

I DOUBT IT.

And so the race against time continues...

fear-less

fear of the known
exceeds fear of the unknown…
if the former translates
into betrayal
loneliness
or simply
unlove.

To know is to lose.
~D.H.Lawrence

flowers are red

"Flowers are red
Green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than they way they always have been seen"

Why should we see things the way it has always been seen? Why not the way we want to see?

amazing

Eye of the Tigerrrrrrrr!!

sweet!

Fed up

Will someone please, PLEASE explain to me, just what, WHAT is so gravely wrong, so unnatural, so indecent about being an ambitious, young woman with the ability, desire and drive to marry later whenever she feels like and to move to another country alone, where she will be living as a single expat (oh the horror, oh the shock), solely for the carrier and experience factor?

WHAT about all of that makes me so unnatural, hopeless and 'corrupted' to a blinded, older generation that are incapable of seeing any farther than their prejudiced, crooked, hooked noses?

Also, what happened to the age-old adage, which I've taken the liberty to edit, slightly; 'If you have nothing nice to say, then keep your thoughts to yourself and SHUT THE HELL UP.'

Or or...how about...'When I want your opinion, I'll be sure to YELL FOR IT AND BEG YOU TO SHOVE IT DOWN MY THROAT. Otherwise, again, I repeat, SHUT THE HELL UP.'

If myself and my immediate family members are understanding, supportive and accepting of my decision to CREATE A LIFE FOR MYSELF, then I really do not appreciate the backwardness of this society shoving their displaced prejudices and misunderstandings of the accepted societal norms and traditions down our throats. Our only concern should be having to deal with missing one another, and most definitely NOT with 'what people are going to say and think.' But heck. these people are corrupting my family members heads. I wonder what would befall.

I'm a person with plans. I'm not going to sit back and dream about them one day coming true. I'm going to make sure they come true, and I'm going to actively work on ensuring that things happen for me. If that makes me abnormal, atypical, destined to forever sprint down the wrong and evil path, inappropriate, stupid for turning my back on the comforts of irresponsible living, deviant even...then so be it!

tears are the words my heart
uses to explain when even my
fake smiles cant cover up my pain

m-old

we mold ourselves
freely at first…
we are
what we want to be...
but then,
'tick tock'…
the clay hardens
and dries us up
in a shape we cannot escape from...
and we are
only
what we became.