Pursuit Of Happyness

There I go again, same problem of Insomnia. Can you believe it? I slept this morning at 7 and got up 3 hours later. Now, I'm having this obnoxious hang over in my head. I'm sure this time my head is going to burst into two!

Anyway, so what was I doing last night? Couldn't possibly figured out anything else than watching the downloaded movie- Pursuit of Happyness (a Will Smith and Thandie Newton flick) at 3am this morning. (hahaa curse my vampire nature)

I remember thinking, before even starting the movie, how much that title appealed to me. The pursuit of happiness. I think the concept of happiness is just that: a concept. A theory - something that simply does not exist. Perhaps there are fleeting moments of happiness, but they are only the result of immersing yourself so completely in a moment that you choose to block out the natural progression of your thoughts. But for one to truly exist in a simple state of happiness - to just BE happy - indefinitely? That, I believe, is impossible.

I think it is against human nature to be completely happy, because happiness goes hand in hand with contentment, and who is ever really satisfied with the status quo? Who is ever content enough with what he or she has? It's human nature to constantly want - more and more. To want to better yourself, your situation, your surroundings. To think, "Yes, I have a great job, a great home, a loving family, this and that, and thank God for all of it, but if only I could get a raise, or maybe get that bonus, that promotion, a new roof, a better car, a guarantee for my children's education, so on and so forth." Nothing is ever ENOUGH. You accomplish one dream, and you immediately develop a new one. Just to keep going. To give life meaning; flavor.

It's like missing. You are always missing something or someone wherever you are - you'll never be able to find yourself NOT missing. There will always be something/someone to miss, wherever you are and whatever you're doing. Again, human nature.

And this morning when I opened the DC supplementary newspaper, my eyes went straight to the quote "A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance" -Anatole France. That's a quite remarkable saying which made me ponder sometimes ignoring few things is indeed a bliss. And despite it all, it's the most natural thing in the world to 'pursue' happiness from unhappiness. To convince yourself that there are thousands of people out there who are not surrounded by all that happiness, contentment, satisfaction, and that it's all just around you.

And those few moments of fleeting happiness you experience every once in a while, dotting your life like precise punctuation, there when needed - those are the moments that make the pursuit worth it.

And you sit back, and tell yourself, "I'm happy. I'm really, truly happy, for this one second in time, so happy I feel like I'm going to burst."

Sometimes even I don't understand what I mean. Oh whatever! LOL