Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Just wondering....


I guess I am the first one to admit that I think about the strangest things. I know this already. I know that I am strange. I've accepted it, even. I embrace it.

I obsess about imaginary scenarios that may never happen outside of my head, but that can take over my life regardless. I don't know what this is. It seems that to describe it as an overactive imagination would be a bit of an understatement, but we can go with that, I suppose.

Anyway.

The thing is.

I am absolutely terrified from sneezing while driving. No, not terrified of the fact that I might die. Just concerned about others. LOL

Think about it. A sneez is involuntary - you can't stop it from occurring. And at the same time, closing your eyes when you sneeze is involuntary as well - it's an immediate reflex. Try negating that. Next time you feel a sneeze coming, try and keep your eyes open while you're atchoo-ing. Impossible. Absolutely impossible. Kind of like licking your elbow. Also impossible.

Which means, that whenever I feel a sneeze coming on while I'm behind the steering wheel, I already know that my eyes will be shut for a split second while I spray snot all over the immediate vicinity. Which means, in that split second, anything - yes, anything - can happen.

Which absolutely, completely, utterly terrifies me. :P
AND I CANNOT SEEM TO STOP SNEEZING.

My allergies have succeed in incapacitating me COMPLETELY. All I can manage to do is sneeze and sniff. And sniff and sneeze. And so on. It's a vicious cycle. I alone will be solely responsible for ensuring tissue boxes become extinct in my locality. Just wait and see.

And when I'm driving and aware of the fact that I will be sneezing any second now because there's a tickling sensation in my nose and because my eyes are all tearing up, not only do I have to deal with finding a tissue as quickly as possible so that my boogers don't get to cover everything in sight, but I also have to deal with this most irrational of fears - almost paralyzing, it's so intense - that this might be my last sneeze ever.

What way is this to live, I ask you?

WHAT THE HELL!?!??!?! My only consolation, however, is that my eyes wont pop out when I sneeze.

In other news, I want a new nose please...

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